Nothing Left To Loose

I have this way of pushing people I care about away or saying the wrong thing that ruins what good things I do have in my life. Hopefully I've learned my lesson and won't stay with this pattern. Maybe someday I'll allow myself to be happy for once. It's not that I'm depressed or anything, I've just never had an easy life and I guess I don't know how to function without some kind of pain or hurt in my life. I think it's time to move past that, I'm tired of being damaged.